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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26401021">You Felt Alone (So I Took You Home)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsaneJuliann/pseuds/InsaneJuliann'>InsaneJuliann</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Better Run, Better Run [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Tsunami (9-1-1 TV), Werewolf AU, mostly vaguely so nothing detailed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:06:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,309</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26401021</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsaneJuliann/pseuds/InsaneJuliann</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>If anyone tried to tell Eddie Buck wasn't actually his pack by this point, Eddie wouldn't hesitate to argue. He trusts Buck, with everything. </p><p>Really, it's probably less his family he has to convince about it, though, and more Buck himself. </p><p>Good thing Eddie has a secret weapon - Chris.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Better Run, Better Run [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1795057</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>357</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You Felt Alone (So I Took You Home)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I've had this mostly finished for like... weeks. I made myself finish it tonight. </p><p>I've spent the past week listening to The Killer's Imploding the Mirage album. This fic's title comes from me messing with some of the lyrics from Fire in Bone.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Eddie hadn’t said it yet, not to anyone, but so far as he was concerned, Buck was pack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not ‘as good as’ pack. Not ‘basically’ pack. Not ‘almost’ pack. Not ‘like’ pack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> pack. He was part of </span>
  <em>
    <span>Eddie’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> pack; Eddie didn’t need anyone else to believe it to know it was true.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While Buck healed up, he spent a lot of time at Eddie’s. When Eddie was on shift at the station, Buck was at home hanging out with Chris and Carla. When Eddie was home, Buck was insisting he help out by cooking, limping his way around, telling Chris and Eddie what to do and how to help. It became routine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie hadn’t gotten Buck to come along to one of the dinners at Abuela’s yet, but he was working on it. Buck was too afraid, not that Eddie thought he’d admit that was the issue, and the others weren’t exactly excited with the idea of Eddie bringing along an unknown to a pack gathering.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And they didn’t even know about the ‘his mom is a hunter’ thing. Probably for the best, until they got to know Buck himself first.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The longer Buck was away from work, though, the more depressed he got. It worried Eddie, the way Buck retreated into himself some days, barely mustering up a smile for him and Chris, napping more than he had even when he’d been recently injured and recovering. Chris was a fucking blessing, that kid, because those days he’d usually squirm his way against Buck’s side, shifted or not, and cuddle up with him. Sometimes he napped with Buck, sometimes he just babbled non stop about his day or a new show he liked or something else of interest to him at the time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Those times, it was hard for Eddie not to join them. To curl up around those two, his pack, his favorite people. He didn’t think Buck was up for that, though. Still so skittish, like he was waiting for some kind of cruel punchline. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck didn’t bring up his parents, his past, after that first conversation. Any time conversation even seemed to edge close to the topic, he’d skirt around it or change the subject. Eddie let it be, at least for the time being. He wasn’t entirely sure how to handle it himself, except keep reiterating that they’d been wrong about Buck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Frankly, some days it was hard not to just call them the fucking idiots they were to Buck’s face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie just - he couldn’t get it. He couldn’t imagine calling anyone in his pack a mongrel, couldn’t imagine calling a kid that and that they were cursed on top of it. Fuck, if anyone said anything even close to that kind of shit about his kid, let alone </span>
  <em>
    <span>to</span>
  </em>
  <span> him, Eddie was pretty sure claws and fangs would have been involved to make his view on the matter clear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The fact that Buck </span>
  <em>
    <span>believed</span>
  </em>
  <span> that fucking nonsense… </span>
  <em>
    <span>believed</span>
  </em>
  <span> he wasn’t good enough, was doomed to some kind of failure of self, that he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>lesser</span>
  </em>
  <span> than anyone else….</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie just hoped that if the Buckley parents ever for some reason came around, he didn’t know about it or see them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Or maybe he really hoped he did, but knew it wouldn’t end well, for any of them.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, it was their fucking loss, at least. They didn’t want to keep Buck? Fine. He was now </span>
  <em>
    <span>Eddie’s</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and if anyone tried to hurt him….</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If Buck wouldn’t stand up for himself, if he </span>
  <em>
    <span>couldn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> yet, then that was okay. Eddie would do it for him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~*~*~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Buck was sad again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dad had said Buck was lonely and worried about not getting to work, cause he loved firefighting so much and loved the team like they were pack and he missed them. So to make him feel happier, Chris was gonna spend the day with him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They went out to the pier. It was bright and loud and lots of fun. They won a huge bear at a game, and they ate funnel cake together. Chris liked to stare at the ocean - even though he’d been in LA for a year now, the ocean was still </span>
  <em>
    <span>so cool</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’d never seen it disappear like that though. Chris pointed it out to Buck - and then could smell how scared Buck got. He grabbed Chris real tight and started running, leaving behind Chris’ bear and his crutches and everyone started running as a painfully loud siren started blaring.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A huge wave was coming towards everyone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck dropped him inside one of the booths, and then curled up over top of him, and then -</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The water was there, everywhere. It yanked at Chris, spun him in circles, until he didn’t know where up was. Stuff was hitting him, and then -</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chris grabbed as tight to the post as he could, gasping in air so hard it hurt. He looked around but all he could see was rushing water and stuff that was being carried by it, no people, no </span>
  <em>
    <span>Buck</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And he couldn’t smell anything, his nose felt clogged up like when he was sick, burned with water and salt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And </span>
  <em>
    <span>then</span>
  </em>
  <span>, finally, he saw Buck and he tried to shout for him. Tried to reach him, but Buck was dragged away by the water too. Chris tried to grab the pole tighter even as he cried. He wanted Buck. He wanted to go home. He wanted </span>
  <em>
    <span>his dad</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck did get him though, he caught Chris and they slipped under the water for a little, but then Buck was pushing him on top of a firetruck and joining him, gasping as badly as Chris was for air. Chris pressed against Buck’s side, close as he could, and Buck held him tight and safe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You saved me,” he said. Buck was a hero, just like Dad was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But there were people still in the water who weren’t safe. Buck went out there to save them, too, bringing them up onto the top of the truck like he had Chris. After, Chris nuzzled into his side again, trying to get the painful burning out of his nose, the scent of ocean and fear and filth. He knew what Buck smelled like normally - like coffee and the dirt after a summer thunderstorm. But he couldn’t find it, and it made him press his nose harder into Buck’s neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” one of the people Buck had saved said again. “Seriously, I don’t know what we would have done without your help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Buck’s a hero,” Chris mumbled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck snorted a laugh, tucking his own nose into Chris’ hair even though Chris knew his sense of smell wasn’t as good. “Not bad for a mongrel I guess,” he muttered, sighing heavily. He pulled Chris closer. “You alright? Nothing hurts too bad, right? Bleeding?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chris shook his head. “My nose burns,” he admitted. “And my throat hurts.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck rubbed his back. “Sea water,” he said. “Nothing else though? Your head?” He ran his fingers carefully over Chris’ head, looking for anything wrong. Dad did the same thing when Chris fell as a kid on the playground once. Touched him all over his arms and head and legs, looking for anything wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m okay. You saved me,” Chris said again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck made a weird nose, strained and thin. Kind of like a whine, almost.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He held Chris even closer again. For a long time he didn’t let go. But eventually, they shifted around to get more comfortable, and Chris got bored. Everyone was bored and worried, watching the water, looking around for help or for something to distract them. Buck and Chris started playing I Spy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was okay. Chris wasn’t as scared as he had been, in the water earlier. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then the truck shifted, and water was rushing by again, only in the other way. People were also coming their way in the water, and Buck and a few other adults rushed to save them, too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then something hit the truck and it jolted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chris fell into the water again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~*~*~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eddie listened through the door as Buck slowly walked down the short hall to answer. Chris was almost thrumming eagerly at his side, missing his Buck after just a few days. Eddie hadn’t seen Buck either, since that night at the field hospital. He couldn’t forget the way Buck had acted when telling him - chin ducked just slightly, stumbling and desperate, the way he had sounded like he was choking on the words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Couldn’t forget the way that, for a moment, Eddie had felt so angry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For a brief moment, he had thought ‘you lost my son’ and blamed Buck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had passed - within seconds - because it wasn’t Buck’s fault. Eddie knew that. It hurt, so much, that there </span>
  <em>
    <span>wasn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> someone to blame. That Chris was lost. That Eddie hadn’t been there, hadn’t even </span>
  <em>
    <span>known</span>
  </em>
  <span>. His pup and packmate had been in danger, and he hadn’t even been aware of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But then he’d caught a scent, caught sight of his kid in some stranger’s arms and nothing else had mattered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’d seen Buck collapse, the others converging worriedly around him, but Chris had needed him right then.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t need Eddie now, not like that. But Buck needed </span>
  <em>
    <span>them</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So he’d brought Chris to Buck’s, because he’d spent the last day thinking over how to handle it and honestly? He thought the best idea was to ambush Buck first.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck looked baffled when he saw them. He looked hesitant to touch Chris, surprised that Chris was hugging him; the look he gave Eddie, uncertain and confused, kind of broke Eddie’s heart a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He should have come over sooner.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie was willing to just barrel through the awkwardness, until Buck started blaming himself for the tsunami. And Eddie might have - in the moment - let Buck get away with that on that awful night, but not now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Especially when Buck started with “If I wasn’t cursed, wasn’t a mongrel-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Eddie said, as quick and firm as he could without snapping. He swallowed back his anger. Right then, Eddie didn’t think Buck would believe it wasn’t at him - that it was at everyone who had put the fucking thought in Buck’s head so deep it felt like Eddie would never get the roots of it out. “Stop, right there. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>saved</span>
  </em>
  <span> him. It’s all he’s talked about - you’re his hero.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not,” Buck said, voice thick and almost desperate. “Eddie, I lost him, I-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Buck.” He grabbed him, up high on his shoulder. He almost grabbed the side of Buck’s neck, almost squeezed it like he would have with a packmate, but Buck wouldn’t know what it meant, probably, and Eddie shouldn’t take the liberty without talking about it. His thumb was almost there though, pressing right at the base of Buck’s neck, at the collarbone. “There is no one in this world I trust with my son more than you. </span>
  <em>
    <span>No one,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” he insisted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck seemed at a loss for words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie retreated, at least for the moment. He pressed a kiss to Chris’ head, reminded him to be good, and slipped out the door. All day, when he wasn’t on a call, he was distracted. If he wasn’t worrying about Chris and Buck, he was thinking about Buck blaming himself and wondering how to stop that. It wasn’t like Eddie was the epitome of mental health, he knew that, but he wanted to help Buck. Somehow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chris was sleepy when Eddie picked him up. There was pizza on the counter, and Buck made sure Eddie took some slices home for dinner. He wouldn’t quite meet Eddie’s eyes, not for long, and he seemed… frazzled. Eddie made a note to come back the next day and bully Buck into coming over, spending the evening with him and Chris. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chris fell asleep on the drive home. Eddie tucked him into bed, ate the pizza cold, and collapsed into bed himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next morning, while Eddie was washing their dishes from breakfast, Chris worked on a drawing for Buck. It was quiet, calm, but then Chris said, “Dad,” in that way that always made Eddie pay closer attention. He glanced over, curious, but Chris was not looking at him. He was staring very intently at his drawing, tongue poking out a bit as he very carefully added what Eddie knew was Buck’s birthmark above his eye in the picture. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s up, buddy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s a mongrel?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie stilled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chris set his marker down, looking up at Eddie. He had a slight frown on his face, and looked almost painfully serious for his eight years of age. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where did you hear that, Chris?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Buck said it. On the truck, when we talked about him being a hero for saving us all, he said it wasn’t bad for a mongrel. And then yesterday when you dropped me off, he said he was a mongrel again. What’s it mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie swallowed, throat tight. He took a deep, careful breath, and then let it out just as measured before walking over and pulling out one of the chairs. He sat down in it so he was facing Chris, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know how some people have parents that are different? Sometimes one parent is a wolf, and the other isn’t. Mongrel is a very mean and bad way to talk about the kids of those parents, since they’re not fully wolf.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why would Buck use it then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He chose his words carefully. “Before Buck came to LA, his family pack were not very nice to him or Maddie.They would call them that, even though it’s a very mean thing to say to someone.” Chris was frowning mightily, so Eddie gave him a slight smile. “We know better though. Just because he’s not a full wolf doesn’t mean he’s not very awesome.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doesn’t he know it’s a bad thing to say?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie sighed, reaching out to run his hand over Chris’ hair and squeeze the back of his neck lightly for a moment. “He does.” Now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then why does he call himself something mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He grimaced. “That’s… something you should talk to Buck about, buddy. It’s something that is his to tell, not mine. And he might not wanna tell you, which is his choice, okay? Just know that he doesn’t always mean to do that. He’s trying to do better, okay? We just need to help him remember, sometimes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chris nodded, brows scrunched with thought. He turned back to his picture, slowly picking up a pen and starting to work on it some more. Eddie blew out a quiet breath and got back to his feet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck was probably in for some questioning soon. But hell, maybe there was a silver lining here. Chris could be Eddie’s secret weapon in getting Buck to stop talking so poorly about himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~*~*~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eddie knew Buck was on the other side of the door, and upset, before he even touched the handle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Buck?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” he mumbled. His eyes were red. “I know it’s late. I should have-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” Eddie said, cutting him off. He grabbed Buck by the elbow and tugged him forward, so he could close the door and usher Buck further inside. “What’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing - not really, I just - is Chris still up?” He glanced around, frowning, shoulders still unbearably tense. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just put him down about fifteen minutes ago.” Eddie moved in front of Buck, grabbing his shoulders and ducking his head until he caught Buck’s eyes. Holding his gaze, pointedly, Eddie repeated firmly, “Buck, what’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I. I don’t know.” He kept glancing down, away from Eddie, and then right back up. It made Eddie want to grab the back of Buck’s neck, firm and tight, reassuring, maybe give him a bit of a shake for scolding. Buck didn’t have to hide from Eddie, not for anything. They were pack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck swallowed. “I just. I took a nap earlier today, and… and after I woke up, I just couldn’t settle, and I tried to sleep earlier but.” He grimaced. “And Maddie’s on shift, so I couldn’t bug her, so I… I should have called.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie shook his head, lips pressing together for a moment against all he wanted to say. That Buck never had to call first, that Buck should have come over sooner, that Buck didn’t have to </span>
  <em>
    <span>apologize</span>
  </em>
  <span> for needing pack after a bad nightmare or whatever. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s cool, man,” Eddie said instead, calm and quiet. He did shift one of his hands to the back of Buck’s neck, squeezing brief and light, before he ruffled at Buck’s hair with a teasing smile that was only half faked. “I was gonna watch a movie or something before bed. C’mon.” He brought Buck over to the couch, falling down onto it and bringing Buck with him with only a small tug of his wrist. Buck was stiff next to him, keeping a painful few inches there as Eddie searched around for something suitably mindless to watch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He lasted ten minutes into some spy action movie, whatever, before he sighed and grabbed Buck by the back of the neck again. He probably shouldn’t, but it was hard to remember that when faced with Buck like this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck wanted attention, affection, so goddamn much sometimes it hurt </span>
  <em>
    <span>Eddie</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He tried not to assume, but it was hard not to think it had something to do with the pack Buck had come from, or his fuckin’ parents or something. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t have rabies,” he said, quiet and teasingly even though he wanted to say so many other things. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck snorted a little, the smallest quirk of a smile in amusement appearing. There was the slightest relaxing of the tension in Buck’s muscles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Relax,” he murmured, carefully guiding Buck down to lean against Eddie’s side, his head on Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie dragged his fingers through his hair, scratching lightly at his scalp the same way he did sometimes with Chris, the way his mom had done for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few moments, and the rest of the tension seeped out of Buck, leaving him boneless and heavy and warm against Eddie. Eddie kept his gaze focused forward, on the TV screen, but he was paying attention to Buck. Buck’s eyes started blinking, long and slow, and he tried muffling a yawn by not opening his mouth. Eddie didn’t think Buck even realized it when he turned his head just slightly and nuzzled at Eddie’s shoulder with a deep inhale and sigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was maybe a half hour after that, when Buck fell asleep. Eddie didn’t dare move, not for a while, and then he was exceedingly careful as he eased Buck off his shoulder and down onto the couch. He made sure one of the pillows was under his head, and tugged the light and mostly ornamental throw blanket on the back of the couch over him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t quite bring himself to not nuzzle into the top of Buck’s hair, scenting him carefully. Buck mumbled sleep noises and let out another, softer sigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie’d try to convince Buck to stick around for a day or two, or spend more time with them in the morning. It might help with everything if Buck wasn’t by himself, if he could see that Chris was okay after nightmares. And… it’d make Eddie feel better, too. Having Buck close by, easy for Eddie to see he was okay and safe….</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie took a deep breath, one last brush of his nose over Buck’s hair, and pushed to his feet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For the night, he had two of the people who mattered most to him close and safe. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tomorrow… tomorrow Eddie would talk to Buck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was probably time he started teaching Buck more about how a true pack acted.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I've got more planned for this series, no worries, but I've got like half a dozen work things thrown at me all at once the past few weeks, so who knows when I'll have time. </p><p>Hopefully not too long from now.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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